I have to confess something now. I did not go to my graduation for my Masters Degree. I told myself , “It’s not worth it. Why waste the money?” Besides I had finished the degree in January and when the June Graduation came around I did not even bother telling my mother. However, as we know mothers eventually find out everything. She heard from a friend of hers who went to the graduation that my name was announced as a graduate. Boy was she hurt and I was in trouble. What I did not realize was that the honor of graduating wasn’t just about me but was about my whole family. Today both of my parents are in heaven but I know that my mother is watching me and so is my father if he isn’t playing golf. Fortunately, my bothers and my sisters in law, Kathy, Paul, John, Jane, Brian and Anna, my stepson David and Liz Price, my friends The Gravina ’s, the Chalifauxs, The Fenech’s are here. Graduation is an honor for the whole family and that is why I am delighted that you are here with your parents, brothers, sisters, cousins, uncles, aunts, grandparents, husbands, wives, friends, in laws, step children and grandchildren. Some of them have helped pay for this education, some have helped you study, helped you do research, some of them cooked meals, some of them have babysat your children. So let us honor all your relatives and friends with applause.
Who else helped you? The St. Joe’s custodians, the secretaries, the security guards; in fact the entire staff, the St. Joseph’s College Board, the administration in particular Sr. Elizabeth , Sr. Loretta, Sr. Karen, the full time and adjunct faculty . Let’s thank them also!
I am a part of the faculty who believed in you, challenged you to do better, to learn more and to try harder. We all see here today the graduates, who did more than they thought they could, learned more than they thought they could and now are more confident, more self assured than they were two, four years or 6 years ago. I was honored here today in front of you because the Board and administration of St. Joseph’s College is wishing to make a point which I believe is this: That you should use your talents, abilities, wisdom and education to help others. Do you know that by earning your Bachelors degree you are in an elite group because just 16% of all the people in Suffolk County have this degree and if you are receiving your Masters then you are in a unique group of only 11% of the population which has completed that much education.
So now since you are so smart, I have some questions for you.. Why do you have a degree? What do you do with it? Why did all of those people help you to complete it? What should you do with this education that you have received?
Because you have had this educational opportunity you are someone who can make a great difference in the world. In fact you have a social obligation to use your education, your talents, and your wisdom to create positive change in this world. While in St. Joseph’s college I know that some of you have begun to make positive changes. You have shown this by how you care for other people. You have collected food to be given to the poor at Thanksgiving. You have collected toys to give to needy children at Christmas, some of you have tutored children in elementary school and some of you have tutored adults to get their GED. You have collected clothes to be distributed to the victims of the earthquake in Haiti and some of you have even traveled to El Salvador to help the people in this very poor country.. You have cleaned up the lake on Earth Day, slept out in cardboard boxes to help those in need with Habitat for Humanity, you have had blood drives, made valentine cards for veterans, helped Make a Wish Foundation, aided the Innocence Project, helped those with MS, Lupus, Autism and worked with MADD and the Women’s Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Also you had a Unity Dinner in honor of Marcelo Lucero, a peace vigil, and had Make a Difference Day.
Some of you have begun to think about and act for others but today, I call upon all of you to do more than you have done, and more than you think you can to help others and create positive change in this world around you.
When I graduated from college I thought I would teach religion, period, which I did for 15 years. I thought I was doing some good and for the most part I was avoiding evil. Not Bad. A Good Life. But then a friend of mine asked me to help him to build houses in Wyandanch for the homeless. I told him it was the craziest idea I ever heard of. I did not know anything about building houses. So No I told him definitely NO!
My friend did not accept my response and continued to badger me. He really thought that I could actually help him with this project. So finally I decided to give it a try. I continued to teach at St. Joseph’s and began to write for grants that would provide funding to build houses for homeless families. I wasn’t very good at it in the beginning. I spent three months writing just one grant. It looked like a huge telephone book when I was finished. This grant was for a million dollars and after I sent it in I was told that the state rep would have to do a site visit and then make up her mind about the grant. I was told they would do the visit at the end of August. So I went on vacation the last two weeks of July. I thought that when I got back that I would meet with the state reps and get my million dollars! That’s not how it happens. Five days after I left the state rep named Doris came and met with my secretary and a few board members. My Secretary and board kept responding to Doris’s questions,” Peter will have to answer that when he gets back.” Doris left the meeting saying to my board and secretary “Unless Peter is God you are not getting a penny.”
When I returned I noticed that my secretary was very upset and blurts out the story of the surprise site visit by the state. I was furious because I was promised the visit in August. So I called Doris and requested another meeting. “No!” she said, “You have no experience so you will get no money.” Have some of you already heard this when looking for your first job?” You have no experience”’ Well how can you get experience if no one will let you try?
So I started to visit every state assembly person and state senator to tell them my story and ask for their help. At first I tried talking about the poor and their need for housing. The elected officials showed concern but when I pointed out that there was 25 million dollars of state money to help the poor in New York State and not one penny has ever come to Long Island, well that got the politicians’ excited. They got aggressive and started writing letters asking that some of that money come to Long Island and to Wyandanch in particular. I got a call from Doris and she said “OK we will give you $450,000.”
With that money I built 4 houses under budget by using new modular construction that I learned about and after that the state trusted me and funded 20 more homes.
What can we learn from this story?
If you are open to helping others with your talents and abilities you may go in a whole new direction in your life than you ever thought possible. By the way, the State Rep, Doris is here today! Doris became a good friend after our rough beginning. So realize that those who may challenge you are not your enemies and in fact could become your friends! So yes, you might not have experience but you and I have knowledge. You and I have determination; you and I have values, have energy to make things happen that produces positive change in our world.
What else have we learned? Sometimes no is just not an acceptable answer. Sometimes it may just mean that people don’t have the vision you have, the self confidence you have, the knowledge that you have. Be persistent and keep knocking on those doors that are shut in your face.
Look for new ways to do things, look for new insights, new directions. You have learned how to do research, you have learned how to explore other cultures. You have learned to work collaboratively with others, to share and to support others, to befriend others, to care for others. You have learned to get over some of your fears, you have learned to talk to older people and recognize their wisdom. You have learned to challenge others so they will grow. You have learned that you can get out of a mess. A mess is a problem that has some good alternatives. You have learned how to find those alternatives. You have learned to survive a catastrophe and see that there is life afterwards. These are some of the things that have given you experience to help the world! Point these things out when people tell you that you have no experience. Tell them you want to have the chance to show them what you can do.
You know I have not done this work alone. Many people have helped me along the way. However one person has really made a remarkable difference in my life and in my work. This woman created what we call Project Self Sufficiency which helps homeless families through counseling and education to change their lives. This very creative and wise woman has been working with me since 1989. Seven years ago I finally decided to marry her! She is an alumnus of St. Joseph’s College and has two Master’s Degrees from Fordham – Sociology and Social Work. I would you like you give a round of applause to Judi Barnett for all of the work she has done for the poor.
Judaism, Christianity and Islam all believe in the same one God called by different names in different languages. Each of these religions share a similar idea: Shalom in Hebrew, Salaam in Arabic and Peace in English. This term refers to the great moment of when you and God, you and all the people you are with and you and nature are in right relationship, in harmony together. I believe that we are having a moment of Shalom, Salaam, Peace right now, here we are all in right relationship.
As we celebrate this graduation and hopefully this commitment to help others I ask all of you after you leave here to try to create Shalom, Salaam, Peace in the world by putting yourself in the right relationship with God, with all the people you meet.
I would like to end with a poem by Kent Keith which was written when he was a sophomore in college. “ANYWAY” is the word I would like you to all join in on.
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